The first time I watched Hotel Rwanda, I was not a Christian. I remember thinking, what a tragedy, then moving on with the usual daily thing. Things of this magnitude did not affect me much at all. I quickly forgot Rwanda.

I have been praying to God everyday to break my heart because I can be quite hard hearted. I watched Hotel Rwanda again today. It broke my heart intensely… Nearly 1 million people were murdered in just 100 days over race…

Worse still is the lasting effects of genocide in Rwanda. Reading Operation World, I discovered that Rwanda claims to be 80% Christian! The genocide has led to increasing Islam because people don’t want the peace that Christianity offers…

God forgive us for our hatred toward each other… Pray for Rwanda, they are still suffering from the aftermath… Pray for an abundance of sold out Jesus loving missionaries to show the Rwandans what it really means to be Christian… Pray for God to use this new brokenness for His glory…

In Christ… Michelle

Romans 1

²⁸ People did not think it was important to have a true knowledge of God. So God left them and allowed them to have their own worthless thinking and to do things they should not do.²⁹ They are filled with every kind of sin, evil, selfishness, and hatred. They are full of jealousy, murder, fighting, lying, and thinking the worst about each other. They gossip³⁰ and say evil things about each other. They hate God. They are rude and conceited and brag about themselves. They invent ways of doing evil. They do not obey their parents.³¹ They are foolish, they do not keep their promises, and they show no kindness or mercy to others.³² They know God’s law says that those who live like this should die. But they themselves not only continue to do these evil things, they applaud others who do them.

Happy Reformation Day! I am not blogging much lately because I am quite busy with school and preparing to be a missionary. I have to find a new routine, some peace,  time for the Lord, and ministry (not necessarily in that order). The Lord comes first ALWAYS!

Our baby is being discharged from the hospital this Tuesday! All the glory goes to GOD who is mighty and merciful! She is 4.5 lbs and eating like a champion! She is so cute, I could eat her up.

I want to praise GOD for answering a huge prayer request. I have to have 30 hours of Bible education in preparation for missions. Both of the avenues I have pursued have been approved by Pioneers! Hurray! One of the courses is free! Hurray! Hurray! GOD is so good to His children!

I will leave you with this week’s meditation on 1 Corinthians 15:1-6, 12-19

¹ Now, brothers and sisters, I want you to remember the Good News I brought to you. You received this Good News and continue strong in it.² And you are being saved by it if you continue believing what I told you. If you do not, then you believed for nothing.

³ I passed on to you what I received, of which this was most important: that Christ died for our sins, as the Scriptures say;⁴ that he was buried and was raised to life on the third day as the Scriptures say;⁵ and that he was seen by Peter and then by the twelve apostles.⁶ After that, Jesus was seen by more than five hundred of the believers at the same time. Most of them are still living today, but some have died.

¹² Now since we preached that Christ was raised from the dead, why do some of you say that people will not be raised from the dead?¹³ If no one is ever raised from the dead, then Christ has not been raised.¹⁴ And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is worth nothing, and your faith is worth nothing.¹⁵ And also, we are guilty of lying about God, because we testified of him that he raised Christ from the dead. But if people are not raised from the dead, then God never raised Christ.¹⁶ If the dead are not raised, Christ has not been raised either.¹⁷ And if Christ has not been raised, then your faith has nothing to it; you are still guilty of your sins.¹⁸¹⁹ If our hope in Christ is for this life only, we should be pitied more than anyone else in the world. And those in Christ who have already died are lost.

We are being saved everyday. It’s an ongoing process. I have to believe everyday, have faith everyday in order to keep being saved. It requires ongoing faith. I believe in the resurrection of Jesus Christ, if I did not believe in resurrection, my faith would be pointless and I would be foolish. I would be making God out to be a liar if I told people Jesus Christ is risen, but didn’t actually believe it myself.

In Christ… Michelle

Ephesians 4:18

Meditation On Isaiah 58:1-12

What does fasting really mean to me? What is the kind of fasting the Lord wants from us? I know in the past, when I’ve tried to fast for things, for answered prayers, for selfish reasons, I haven’t had much success. That kind of fast is just too hard or it is I am fasting for all the wrong reasons. God doesn’t want us to fast for selfish reasons. He wants us to value others more than we value ourselves. I believe that’s why He says a fast that would please Him is to act justly, be merciful to others who have nothing. How can we fast for things we want while walking by the homeless man on the street who has nothing but the clothes on his back? Or how is it possible for me to be so self absorbed I don’t hear the cries of a stranger in need? I believe true fasting must be for the welfare of others, for the salvation of my family, for the salvation of unreached people groups. True fasting involves caring for others the way Jesus cares for us.

It’s so easy to become self absorbed. “I love myself more than anybody I know” is one of my pastor’s favorite lines. I can completely relate to that line. I get really involved in myself, my plans, my thoughts, my stuff. But the Lord jars me back to reality by placing me in situations that are meant to bring me outside of myself. The danger of being in those situations is free will. Free will allows us to make choices. If I am placed in a situation for a reason and I ignore the voice of the Lord, I risk the hardening of my heart. I believe the harder my heart gets, the easier it will become to ignore the voice of the Lord. Thus it is a dangerous thing indeed to ignore God when He’s speaking.

Meditating on Isaiah 58:1-12 reminds me about true fasting. But did I let that meditation sink in deep? Maybe,  because when I drove by the homeless person on the corner the other day, I didn’t ignore his existence. I felt quite convicted because my heart had become hard again. The Lord uses His word to break the heart. I cried to God and prayed for Him to break my heart. I don’t want a hard heart. I lived with a hard heart for 42 years. That was far too long!

There are certain things I pray everyday. I thank God for waking me. I thank Him for new mercy. I pray for someone to help. I pray for His will to be done. And now I pray for Him to break my heart. I don’t want a hard heart.

They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart.

I do not ever want this to happen again! Pray with me in agreement that our hearts would remain broken.

In Christ… Michelle